Feeling Lost

[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ American Infertility Association Message Board ] [ FAQ ]

Posted by Sumita on June 14, 19100 at 16:15:01:

Hi everyone,
I have just turned 32 and have been trying to get pregnant for 10 years, 6 months Clomid, 6 months Ovulation Induction,
2 failed IVF's, 1 with ICSII. I am hoping to do one more IVF cycle -- this time in Denver with Schoolcraft.
I live in Vancouver, Canada, and do not have a lot of choices here.
I achieved a pregnancy on my 2nd Ovulation Induction 5 years ago, nothing since then. Even my last
IVF was dismal. I produced only 2 eggs. Sometimes I feel as if my Marriage is falling apart.
Actually, I feel that way a lot of the time. I am East Indian and although I no longer feel the family
pressure, I still feel that I am not enough for my husband and his family.
I feel disappointed in life, I feel my girlfriends who never wanted children now have children. I feel
as if I am being punished and I don't know where to turn. My husband is tired of trying. I am tired too.
But I feel I have to push myself and keep trying so that when I turn 40 I can say, Yes I did try everything.
Does anyone else feel this way? I have gone to so many therapists, so many specialists but the bottom line
is I am unhappy and nothing anyone can say or point out is going to change that. I am tired of focussing on
a career that I do not really want. I just want to stay home with a couple of kids and bake cookies and
make contruction paper hats. I just think is that too much to ask for. Nothing makes me happy. I never
felt this down before where nothing helps. This is my first time on this chat line or whatever it is called
and I am not sure if all I am doing is depressing everyone else.

Follow Ups:

Post a Followup