Scared -- How Do Others Keep Hanging In There?

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Posted by sarah jean on June 27, 19100 at 14:31:53:

I'm 34 and I've only gone through four "treatment cycles" -- only hormones, not IVF.
We were trying to conceive for almost a year before this. Tests have revealed no problems.
I feel guilty even writing this because I know others have been
through so much more than I have so far. But I still need some help, I think.
I'm awaiting my B-HCG tomorrow to see if this cycle worked and I'm an emotional mess.
But that could just be due to the Crinone (Progesterone) support.
I feel like I'm going to be completely devastated if it's not this month ...
I read a lot of the previous notes/responses on the message board and I don't know
where you all get the strength. People go through treatments like this for much longer
than I have, and I'm already feeling like I'm "losing it". I'm cranky frequently, which
I'm not sure is due to the hormones or my frustration at feeling inadequate and sad because
I haven't conceived yet. I hate being this way to my partner, my family and my friends. I'm
not even a good friend because my best friend told me she's pregnant and, although I expressed
all sorts of enthusiasm, I really don't want to talk to her. My cousin visited with her new baby
and I was depressed for two days after that. I have trouble concentrating at work and I "obsess"
about my next doctor's visit and getting pregnant. I know it's not healthy and I am functional and
I do have a professional to talk to, but it doesn't help. How do other women walk around and enjoy
their lives while going through month after month of this?

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