It's pretty hard -- and that's why I think it's important

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Posted by Theresa on June 27, 19100 at 15:23:57:

In Reply to: Scared -- How Do Others Keep Hanging In There? posted by sarah jean on June 27, 19100 at 14:31:53:

to share your feelings as much as you can. Don't feel guilty because others have been through more than you -- I think the beginning can be very tough when you are still coming to terms with diagnosis.

It also helps to join a support group and to have a game plan - so many injectible cycles, so many IVF cycles and then adopt or Donor Egg. I was going through a v hard time when first having to consider IVF, I was devastated and fearful. The expense, the uncertainty, the horrible medically impersonal aspect of it. Then I just decided that I will have a child somehow, someday - I just don't know how or when. It doesn't make it easy, but it did has made it more bearable during the bleakest moments.

I'm gearing up for 2nd IVF, having sworn halfway through the first one never again. But, strangely we humans seem to be very resilient creatures, and we do bounce back from these tremendous disappointments. (There is a great book "Wanting a Child" full of pieces by different writers about their IF/parenting stories that I found very cathartic.)

I wish you luck on your journey, and pray that you get a positive result and the rest is history.

All the best,
ps to say we are walking around enjoying our lives might be stretching it for me!! I'm walking around getting through the day ... mainly cos what other choice is there???

: I'm 34 and I've only gone through four "treatment cycles" -- only hormones, not IVF.
: We were trying to conceive for almost a year before this. Tests have revealed no problems.
: I feel guilty even writing this because I know others have been
: through so much more than I have so far. But I still need some help, I think.
: I'm awaiting my B-HCG tomorrow to see if this cycle worked and I'm an emotional mess.
: But that could just be due to the Crinone (Progesterone) support.
: I feel like I'm going to be completely devastated if it's not this month ...
: I read a lot of the previous notes/responses on the message board and I don't know
: where you all get the strength. People go through treatments like this for much longer
: than I have, and I'm already feeling like I'm "losing it". I'm cranky frequently, which
: I'm not sure is due to the hormones or my frustration at feeling inadequate and sad because
: I haven't conceived yet. I hate being this way to my partner, my family and my friends. I'm
: not even a good friend because my best friend told me she's pregnant and, although I expressed
: all sorts of enthusiasm, I really don't want to talk to her. My cousin visited with her new baby
: and I was depressed for two days after that. I have trouble concentrating at work and I "obsess"
: about my next doctor's visit and getting pregnant. I know it's not healthy and I am functional and
: I do have a professional to talk to, but it doesn't help. How do other women walk around and enjoy
: their lives while going through month after month of this?

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