Posted by Ellen Bender on June 28, 19100 at 09:53:13:
In Reply to: Scared -- How Do Others Keep Hanging In There? posted by sarah jean on June 27, 19100 at 14:31:53:
Sarah Jean: Reading your post reminded me of how I felt while I was in the midst of my 5 1/2 year effort to conceive. Each cycle is an emotional roller coaster as you try to maintain a balance between hope and despair. I remember one of the several psychotherapists I consulted during that time (yes, at one point I had two as well as a support group), telling me to try to maintain a "cautious optimism" about each individual cycle and about the big picture. The difficulty you express about being around pregnant friends or relatives or little babies is one that we've all been through. I remember when my oldest friend was pregnant with her third or fourth child, no one told me until she was in her ninth month because they were so afraid of how I would react. Going to synagogue on the high holidays to see my former classmates surrounded by their growing families was so painful that I considered switching synagogues. The bottom line is that this is tough stuff emotionally and you need to surround yourself with as much support as you can from family, friends and members of this community. A support group is invaluable (as are message boards like this one) because it constantly reminds you that you are not alone and that you are in a community of other equally wonderful women who are struggling like you to have a baby. AIA offers professionally led groups all over the NYC area for its members. Best of luck to you, Ellen Bender, AIA Board Member