Posted by on August 15, 19100 at 08:46:48:
In Reply to: Something to get used to? posted by Leslie on August 14, 19100 at 10:43:11:
: she made a statement that she didn't think "Ghandi" was very cute. Then she started telling me about a story that she heard on TV that might make it easier for people to get "nice white babies". It really hurt my feelings. I am also an extremely sensitive person, so maybe I am over reacting.
ANYONE should find such a statement offensive, whether they are thinking about adopting internationally or NOT! It was blatantly racist!
Those of us who have adopted transracially (my drop-dead gorgeous African American/Latinto daughter is now 16) will definitely "have our feelings hurt" by racist remarks from people we are totally shocked to hear such things from. But we cannot effectively raise a child of color by "getting over it." We need to learn to confront racism directly in ways which will change the limited and very personal world our children operate in--and hopefully the broader world as well.
I just yesterday returned from California where I was fortunate enough to have been chosen to be one of the 54 participants in a "think tank" on race, adoption, and child development pulled together by Pact: An Adoption Alliance as they prepare to launch a three year federally funded study of interracial adoptive families (both domestically and internationally formed) which will be funded by a federal grant. Those participating included adult transracially adopted people (AA, Latino, Asian in this case), adoption researchers and educators and therapists and child development specialists (several of whom in each category are also aparents)and, despite the experience of the folks in this room, the experiences of racism they and their families had experienced brought nearly all of us to tears more than once.
Before passing "go" and collecting your child of color, be sure that you read Beth Hall and Gail Steinberg's new book Inside Transracial Adoption. It is informative, direct, supportive, and highly practical.
amom to three and adoption/inferitlity educator
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