Re: Here we go again..I don't know if I can do this again..

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Posted by Kelly on June 18, 19100 at 21:50:29:

In Reply to: Here we go again..I don't know if I can do this again.. posted by Leslie on June 18, 19100 at 15:03:11:


I just ended my 4th iui sat. Somehow no matter how I begin a cycle I always end it with this might be it. It never is. I am awaiting af and hoping to begin again by the end of the week. We have almost enough for another ivf. Though I really like my re, I live on LI and there is no way I can cycle in the city with out quitting my job. The point is I already have doomed an ivf cycle that hasn't started. My dh says that if it reaches that point he is willing to change jobs and careers to get a higher paying job so I can quit mine to cycle in the city. If and only if that fails will he consider adoption. He is willing to do anything. I of course am almost hit the end point of the amount of emotional pain I can take. I now belive that I will know when I feel I am absolutely ready to make that step and that I am close, but will have to wait until dh is also. The end of yr post you ask "remind me again ...". If you feel that if you stopped now would be giving up then maybe you are not ready to yet. If I stopped now I feel I would be giving up. When (and I hope when is never) I have to move to adoption I want to know we did everything and not feel we gave up.

Just my thoughts.

: Tomorrow is most probably going to be CD1. It seems to be coming a few days sooner than here we go again. I will probably be calling the RE's office tomorrow to jump back in to all of this stuff. I don't know that I want to do this. I think that I am just prolonging the inevitable. I am just going to be disappointed again and again. I am in such a bad mood and I am so angry that I have to go through this. Remind me again why I am putting myself through this again rather than giving up and moving to adoption. Leslie

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