Posted by Emily on June 10, 19100 at 12:14:39:
In Reply to: Adoption as an option posted by Anonymous on June 07, 19100 at 03:15:50:
It sounds like you are at a difficult crossroads--that's a tough place to be. As I am sure you know, none of us can tell you when to give up. I will tell you two stories of two of my closest friends. One tried fertility drugs for years with no baby. Deciding to discontinue them was very hard, but once she was away from doctors offices for a few months her entire life seemed so much better, and she was more relieved than ever to have made the decision to quit. And now she has a beautiful, energetic newborn she just adopted, and it is impossible to imagine anything more wonderful in the world than this child. Adoption was stressful, but not as bad as the treatments; and once the baby comes, you ARE its mother and it is a wonderful thing.
Another close friend opted out of medically-induced conception early on, deciding it wasn't worth the strain on her body and mental health. Of course she grieved the loss of her ability to conceive, and was very uneasy making that decision. She adopted 2 children who are the funniest, brightest, joyful children ever, and she is loving motherhood.
I knew that she had made the perfect decision when I called her a few months ago when I was suddenly diagnosed and needed a laparoscopy. Her 5 year old (she's had him for a year) answered the phone; he is amazingly perceptive, and when I said I needed to talk to his mommy about some things, his little accented voice said, "Oh, do you need help?" I paused, then said, "yes, I guess I do." He couldn't have been more confident in replying, "oh, well than my mama can help you! just do exactly what she tells you and you will be better." Such compassion, such trust in his mama... I knew she was no longer ever looking back.
Good luck, either with more medical procedures or adoption.