Re: I'm not sure what to do..

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Posted by Theresa on June 07, 19100 at 10:57:00:

In Reply to: I'm not sure what to do.. posted by Leslie on June 06, 19100 at 20:24:02:

Dear Leslie,

These near-misses are so cruel for all the reasons you give. So near and yet so far. I just had the same result with my first IVF cycle - low beta then negative. I have been hashing these issues around in my head and driving myself batty with it.

The question is if you think about going forward with adoption how do you feel?? There will always be some lingering doubt, but is it small or is it intense. I think if you aren't feeling so good right now, you shouldn't make a decision just yet. Give yourself a little more time, even though that feeling of time slipping by is very intense. I would also say don't try to stay positive, just feel the feelings. It's the only thing that works for me to get it out of my system. With this recent loss I have had all those feelings of anger at pg women come back very forcefully.

Also, is it possible to start the adoption process and also do one last cycle just to feel that you did everything you could?

Good luck Leslie, I believe we can have the child we so desire, but we don't know how or when.

All the best,

: I don't know what I am looking for by posting this. I just didn't have the greatest weekend or the greatest day. As many of you know, I had a positive beta that didn't work out. I really tried to stay think that this is a sign that I should try, try again. Now, I don't know if I want to do it again..or how many times I should try it again. I know that before the + beta, I was doing better. I mean, I was just coming to the conclusion and beginning to accept that this maybe wasn't going to work out for me..of course I was sad about it, but I was happy that I had made some decisions and that I would definately have a baby. I was feeling better being around pregnant women and hearing about babies and pregnancies. It wasn't bothering me so much. The last few days is bothering me again..and I hate it. On one hand, I think that maybe this was just proof that I can get pregnant..on the other hand, I think this may be proof that I am going to be in for more and more and more
: disappointment. I have to wait until the beginning of July to try again...the summer will be almost over by the time I get my next beta. The fall will be will be another year gone by. I feel like I am wasting my life away. I don't know what I should do..try or not try and start getting excited about the idea of adoption again. You know, it couldn't have been worse timing that this happened...just as I was getting some peace in my life, this happens. Something that I wanted so much and worked so hard for was just dangled in front of my face. I am just so angry about it. Leslie

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