Wow..I had a really good night tonight..(something positive)

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Posted by Leslie on April 27, 19100 at 22:36:09:

I turned 30 today. About a month ago, I started to get really depressed about know..turning 30, no children, blah, blah, blah. I had always thought I would have like 3 or 4 kids by the time I was 30. For my birthday, I told everyone that I just wanted them to forget that it was my birthday. Well, my friends did not give me what I had asked for. Tonight, my friends bought me dinner and ice cream cake. I got flowers delivered to me at work. I got more flowers when I arrived for dinner. My husband baked me a cake last weekend so we could celebrate my birthday with my family visiting. I had a really good time. I had a really good birthday. Right now, I am feeling very lucky and I just wanted to share it. I started reading the book, Adopting After Infertility, and there was a section in the first chapter that discussed how difficult it is to be a friend or a family memeber of someone who is going through infertility. It helped me to take a closer look at myself. For the past 2 years, I have not exactly been a lot of laughs to be around. I get very angry when my friends say something that I consider stupid and insensitive, but I don't often recognize it when they are being very sensitive. For example, my friend and I stopped in the hospital to visit another friend who had just had a baby. I wasn't going to go, but my other friend convinced me. Afterwards, she kept telling me what a good job that I did. At the time, I didn't even notice what she was saying to me, but she totally recognized how hard it was for me and was trying to comfort me and tell me that she was proud of me. I never even thanked her for that but boy am I quick to let her know when she hurts my feelings. I need to recognize the positive things more even though there are still some people in my life that I can't help but be mad at. Anyhow..I just wanted to share all of that. Good night. Leslie

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