Posted by on July 26, 19100 at 20:15:50:
In Reply to: Does anyone else freak out about going into treatment after a long break? posted by Leslie on July 25, 19100 at 23:29:53:
: I have about 6 days left of my 42 day break. If you remember, I had an elevated FSH and I got put on bcp's for 42 days with the hopes of me having a much better cycle. I also had a + beta that never went anywhere on my last cycle in May.
: I am so scared to do this again and every time I think about it, I start crying. It is stressing me out so badly. I almost just want to stay on the bcp's for the rest of my life. Anyone else ever feel this way or do you all just get psyched to get started "again?"
: I know that I will pick myself up and do it again, but it is just upsetting me.
I think what happens is that you get into a routine where infertility is temporarily forgotten about and you begin a routine where you are more comfortable and relaxed. You spoke of how you started running and taking care of yourself and then all of a sudden when you know that date is coming to start infertility tx again, you start stressing about it. You have to begin thinking about again all the appointments ahead, the what if's and possibility of another failure. You begin to wonder is this the last time that I'll do this, will it work this time. The reason you might be scared is that you are afraid of the outcome. I know that I had mixed feelings about this. In addition, just when you think that you are back in control of your life, you are again faced with the infertility rollercoaster. Staying on the birth control will not do any good, because it'll put you that much further away from your goal, to have a baby. I try to go in a cycle with an attitude, hey if it happens, it happens, I am not in control, and if this cycle fails, I didn't fail the cycle, the cycle failed me, that way you take some guilt away from you if it exists. The time that I panic the most is the day of beta results. Just as long as you do what is asked of you, you take your medications when you are suppose to, you make your app'ts, there is nothing more that you can do. Good Luck to you Leslie on this cycle. I got your message by the way, call me if you still want to get together.
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