To Leslie re "Next Year" (see posts below)

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Posted by Lucia on July 21, 19100 at 17:48:30:

Your post was very heart felt, and I pray that you will realize your dream of becoming a mother. I find this bulletin board not only very informative, but also a source of comfort for we who are experiencing infertility. I, too, wanted to have a baby "before I was 30", as you state. However, life did not turn out that way. After a disastrous first marriage, during which time I lived in South America and had a miscarriage at 22 (when I was a "baby" myself), I didn't remarry again till my late 30s. Although I knew my biological clock was ticking fast, I tried to look at a positive: how much more I could offer a child being more mature, educated, and secure (financially, emotionally, and personally). Unfortunately, nature is not cooperating, because fertility declines after age 35, as we all know. It is also a well-known fact that women are their most fertile in their teens--yet who would recommend motherhood at that time? Kathy said in her post (in reply to your "we all make our life choices"), "none of us" chose to be infertile". Kathy's dream, she says, is to be a mom, "whether a younger mom or an older mom." My point is, you might BE an older mom, so don't adopt pre-conceived negative notions about age. Instead of grieving with bitterness (which is understandable), I agree with Lucinda that "you might find a light at the end of the tunnel by the fact that you still have time on your side." You should not have taken offense at that statement. I don't have time on MY side, but I am not envious of those who do. I can only have HOPE, up until the time that I decide to either adopt, accept a foster child, or remain childless. I am preparing myself for closure soon, but I will still pray for and encourage other infertile women to "go for it". Good luck to you and don't give up your dream. You will have your "next year."

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