Re: "Next Year"

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Posted by Leslie on July 20, 19100 at 12:49:52:

In Reply to: Re: "Next Year" posted by Lucinda on July 20, 19100 at 09:23:04:

I wasn't going to say this..but I have decided that I want to..
First, I often write when I am feeling down and sometimes I post it. I find it therapeutic.
Secondly, I know that there is a lot in life that I am blessed with..I will try to thank God for those things. Sometimes when something is so painful and so consuming, it is hard to remember that we have good things.
Honestly, however, I don't know how keeping in mind that others have lost their 30's and are trying to beat the biological clock is going to help me any. Am I supposed to think that I am lucky? Am I supposed to be thankful that there are others that are worse off than I am? I don't think that that is helpful at all.
One thing has absolutely nothing to do with the other thing. I never wanted to be an older mom. The thought of me chasing around a toddler at age 42 does not appeal to me in the least right now. In fact, people who are in their 40's are not much younger than my own mother who had me young.
I think that it is completely fine if you want to be an older mom. I wish you well...and go for it...but that isn't my dream. MY dream was to have a few babies BEFORE I was 30. That is who I AM. That is part of MY make up. That is a huge part of what makes me, ME. My dream is gone and I am going to grieve it. And, I don't want to be reminded of those who seem to be worse off or something. It hurts my feelings.

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