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Posted by on June 29, 19100 at 22:28:25:

Infertility is hard, it stinks, it's the most miserable thing that most of us have ever experienced. If that is all it is, then it is truly a tragedy. If we can't learn one thing from it, then it is truly only a tragedy. Who among us has not learned the depth of the love with our spouses or the unexpected friends who do support us (including on this board!). Who does not appreciate, as Audrey points out, the overabundance of joy and willingness to give up other things when we finally have our child?
There is no one on this board trying to hurt anyone else. Really and truly. There are sometimes opinions and ideas that we do not all share, agree with, or even condone, but there is not deliberate hurting going on here. Or rather, there should not be. Everyone who speaks here should be able to without fear of judgement. If we can't accept hearing things from those of us who have gone through, or are going through infertility, then where does that leave us?
There are many more things linking us together as infertile people than things dividing us. No matter what our opinion is of specific procedures, religion, self-medication, media coverage, adoption, or parenting after infertility. We still have more in common than we don't. The pain of not having a child, the FEAR of never having a child, the aprehension of our pregnancies not being ok, the adoption falling through. The list is endless, we all feel some variation of the pain of infertility. And we all need to open our hearts enough on this board to let everyone express their thoughts and feelings without censure.
Scary thing. Infertility doesn't end when you have a child. We all still have needs, even after our babies, to express our feelings about infertility. And how it affected us, and continues to affect us.
PLEASE, listen with an open heart and mind. And if, you really can't write something that is not judgemental and hurtful, remember, you don't really have to write anything at all.
This board belongs to all of us. Please, let us all be here, together. Lisa Rosenthal

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