Yes, and....

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Posted by on June 28, 19100 at 17:45:06:

In Reply to: THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER posted by Cindi on June 28, 19100 at 17:14:25:

: I used to check this board a lot when going through infertility. I now have a beautiful healthy baby and can empathize with all of you. It is so difficult and we women walk around beating ourselves up for not getting pregnant. Now that I am a Mom I must say I miss so many things. Time with my husband...alone, working with bright people in a stimulating environment, time to work out, and sleep. I am writing this because you all will somehow have children one day and i want you to try and appreciate so many things that you have although not having a child can cancel all of that good out. Take the time to smell the roses, drink a bottle of wine with your spouse, sleep late, go to movies, read books, enjoy your will have children but you will also have less time for yourself. Take the time now.

Although all of the above is VERY difficult to hear, much less to appreciate, much less to actually DO, it is all too true as well. It's very brave to post a message like that on this board, where we are all going through such enormous pain. Infertility is so all consuming, that we forget that are losses with every gain. When a baby comes into our lives, we do lose certain things, certain time, certain intimacies. What we gain is incredible, but there are losses as well. If you can take one tenth of the advice offered above, it will be to your benefit, and mental health. Love to everyone, Lisa Rosenthal

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