Re: I'm in need of some serious hand holding....

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Posted by on May 22, 19100 at 10:32:35:

In Reply to: I'm in need of some serious hand holding.... posted by Leslie on May 21, 19100 at 23:45:45:

: In less than 8 hours, I will be getting my beta. As I have been posting, my husband and I made a decision to not do any more treatment after next month. We believe that since we don't have coverage for certain things, it is silly to waste money on something that may never work and that we should start saving for a sure thing-this being adoption. I am really, really scared. This cycle has been very different than all of the rest..I don't know what to make of I am really hoping more than usual and I think that I am going to be disappointed more severely than usual. I am really scared. Leslie


I know just how you feel. Last year was the year from hell for me. With blocked tubes, I had an ectopic last April and because of complications during surgery, I ended up having to take painful shots afterwards to clear up left over tissue. I had a failed frozen cycle in July and a failed fresh in November - got my beta results the Monday before my 36th birthday and my closest Aunt died that Saturday, which was my birthday. This was all the week of Thanksgiving. Needless to say, I was devastated. I hyperstimulated with the drugs each time, so I had lots of eggs and good quality ones, so as you can imagine, I wasn't comprehending why it was happening to me. I made a decision that I wouldn't do it again. The ectopic scared me and the November cycle disappointed me. My husband just kept telling me not to make a decision, yet. Nope, no doing. Even Pam told me. Still, nope. Well, guess what? I've switched centers and I have an appointment with Dr. Berkley at NYU next month. My husband and I have talked about adoption, but because we are an interracial couple, I'm hesitant about bringing a child into this marriage isn't bi-racial or young enough that it hasn't been influenced by outside forces and he wants only an American child. That's my story. No matter what you decide, be happy with your decision and know that no one is judging you...and that others of us have been where you are now. Good luck. Vanessa

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