Posted by Martha on May 07, 19100 at 20:46:13:
In Reply to: friends posted by Catherine on May 07, 19100 at 20:05:47:
I found that some people are better than others at understanding the intensity and emotional aspect of treatment - I handled this in two ways. If I felt like I wasnt' getting the suport Ineeded from them in this one area only. I would tell them since they were usually la very good friend. In rare occasions I just choose not to talk about this asppect of my life with them. Anyone who has a m/c, even if not going thru IF should be able to relate. If they were marginal friends I just did not talk to them about it. My in-lawss are particulary bad so we just don't tell them anything. You obviously have to assess the friendships. But you are not alone, this message board is great for support as is the fertile thoughts chat room. Sometiems we lose friends when things go bad in our life, whether it be IF or other things. Hang in there. Miscarriage is a true loss which requires the fives steps of mourning (without the possiblilty of not getting a second chance)
I'm having problems relating to friends. I had a miscarriage March 7. I'm 33, and was diagnosed w/ premature ovarian failure when I was 15. That could have been my only chance. Friends think I should be "over" it, or "don't understand why I'm sad because I knew for so long before I couldn't have children before". I expressed sadness to some friends, and I just feel like i'm complaining. I'm so angry at some of my friends who i feel like i've been there for them in times of trouble. I feel totally misunderstood and alone. I feel like I'm losing more than a baby. I'm losing some people who were very important to me too.