Posted by Liz on July 24, 19100 at 13:24:54:
In Reply to: In a Perfect World - addendum to Liz's beta thread below posted by debi on July 24, 19100 at 11:51:52:
In my rational moments, I agree 100% with your comments. I, too, chose a larger program so I could benefit from the cutting-edge expertise of the RE's and lab. I adore the nurses that draw my blood, and have had only positive experiences with the RE's that performed my ultrasounds, retrievals, and transfers. Overall, I'm satisfied with the level of care I've received through my cycles.
On the other hand, during my irrational moments (and I'm not proud to admit it, but there are many irrational moments these days), I want to be coddled and soothed. (My poor husband's been coddling and soothing through each failed cycle, but he's hurting just as much as me). Just like you, I put my RE on a pedastal -- I know he's one of the best, that's why I picked him. So just a few kind words of encouragement from him would have made a world of difference over the weekend while I mourned and pondered the proverbial "why is this happening to me?" question (I think Leslie described this wonderfully in her "Next Year" post). Learning that I had to wait 2 months to discuss a failed cycle didn't make things any easier.
This is BY FAR the most difficult thing I've ever had to go through in my entire life, as I'm sure many of you would agree. Very few people understand the extreme emotional and financial drain of infertility, so turning to friends and family has been fruitless. They invariably say something that inadvertently hurts so deeply. I guess I just look at my RE as one of those few special people that truly understands what we're going through. I know how busy he is... but I still contend that a 60 second "I'm sorry about the negative beta" conversation would have reminded me that he cares. Instead, I'm left wondering (in my irrational moments) if I'm just a statistic.
-Liz
p.s. Debi - I'm so glad you're back on the board. Your success is an inspiration to those of us still fighting!