Re: NYT Child Free Article

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Posted by debi on July 24, 19100 at 10:51:34:

In Reply to: NYT Child Free Article posted by MaleFactor on July 24, 19100 at 00:56:36:

: Was anyone else upset about the New York Times Magazine cover story on the "child-free" movement? Here's what really bugged me:

: I've been hearing a lot from infertility groups about the "child-free" alternative; about how, if treatment doesn't work, some people choose a child-free lifestyle, rather than going for adoption or donor alternatives. However, the NYT article painted child-free advocates as rabid child-haters.

: If that's what these people really are, then I think infertility organizations shouldn't necessarily be encouraging us to join their ranks. People who go through unsuccessful infertility treatment and then make the painful choice that non-genetic alternatives aren't for them shouldn't be lumped in with child-haters.

: If the child-haters have co-opted the term "child-free," maybe those advocating a non-parenting lifestyle within the infertility movement need to rethink their terminology.

I read the article and didn't really see it as these people being child haters. In my opinion a lot goes into making the choice to live a child-free life. My SIL and her husband chose not to have children. When my sons were born my SIL's husband even said to my husband "If that (meaning children) ever happened to me I'd eat my gun" (he's a cop) YET ... whenever he is around my sons he's wonderful with them.

When deciding to remain child-free I believe many things are taken into consideration ... including - not wanting to hear the noise, see the messes, deal with poor behavior/tantrums, etc. SO ... having made this life decision the child-free movement wants a peaceful existence without children around (i.e. the man who was moving out of his neighborhood because he was now surrounded by children and couldn't enjoy his backyard with the noise.) I don't actually see this as being much different than those who are anti-smoking advocates.

My sons are only 9 months old and there are days (after three IVF's and a great depth of love for them) that I would like to move out of my house !!

I don't believe that infertility organizations do anything less than trying to help IF couples find peace and happiness in their lives - whether it be by treatment, adoption or remaining child-free. There will always be a group of extremists for every issue .... but extremists ALWAYS represent the minority. Meanwhile ... my sons are blessed with an aunt and uncle who love them dearly ... but also love leaving them and returning to their peaceful, child-free home.

Just my two cents.

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