Posted by Lauren C. on July 18, 19100 at 00:14:53:
In Reply to: Feeling very scared and sorry for myself posted by Leslie on July 16, 19100 at 23:24:06:
:Hi Leslie! I hope it helps you to know that I know exactly how you feel. It is a horrible place to be. Someday, somehow, you will have a baby and you will be a mother. After going through infertility you will see how you will appreciate your child in a way much differently from those who have not experienced infertility. I know that this does not mean anything to you right now, but one day (actually, you will never forget) you will remember the pain you have experienced and you will truly be a better, different parent, than all of the other people you know. You will be a stronger, more patient parent, and you will pass that on to your child. Good luck to you, and hang in there. We are on your side cheering for you. Please, try not to let the overwhelming sadness destroy you. You will come out of this terrible place. I used to think of the prayer about the Lord being with me and walking beside me through the shadow of darkness, or whatever it was. You know - the one about the green pastures. Anyway, it helped me to think about how God did not want me to be in this bad place, that he did not put me there, but that he was walking beside me through the very bad times, and that he was helping me to come out of it. He was leading me out. I know that it is a very bad, sad, place where you are right now. Gather strength from your inner self and keep on keepin' on. In a way, you have no choice but to keep yourself above water. Your only other choice is to commit yourself to a looney bin, and you are too strong of a person for that. Good times will come to you. Lauren C.
It is almost a year since my surgery. Another year gone by. I knew a few people who had laps around the same time I did...they just delivered their babies within the last couple of months. How much longer do I have to wait..or maybe it just isn't going to happen.
: Do I even want to try anymore? Do I want to go through the trouble and the expense of finding and paying for an individual insurance policy....I could get IVF and it could fail. I could fail...again. Sigh...I will feel better in the morning. Sorry to be a bummer. Leslie