Re: It's body is a piece of crap!-long vent

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Posted by Mary on July 11, 19100 at 19:13:32:

In Reply to: It's body is a piece of crap!-long vent posted by Leslie on July 10, 19100 at 17:44:55:

: So much for me taking time away from the board. Like I can stop thinking about infertility for more than 5 minutes at a time. I definately can't go through this alone..that is for sure.

:, I got a new diagnosis to add to my list. It seems as if I have PCOS although I am not a typical case. I have to take dexamethasome when I start my next cycle at the beginning of August. It seems as though my testosterone and DHEAS were elevated. I have to go tomorrow morning for a fasting insulin test to see if I should go on metformin.

: Oh..but what I just said is the good news. The bad news is that the big, bad IVF word came up again. I got benched this cycle and got put on bcp's for 42 days because my FSH was 10.4. They don't let you do a cycle if it is over 9. Apparently, my RE feels my endometriosis is severe and my cyles are getting irregular. She can't decide, is it the elevated FSH? Is it my bad endometriosis? Is it this PCOS thing? Gee..there are so many things to choose from!!! She does believe that I really need to be doing IVF though.
: is the deal..I am doing 2 more pergonal/IUI cycles and then I am done! I don't like the odds of IVF ESPECIALLY if I have an elevated FSH. I mean..doesn't that mean that my eggs suck and that IVF probably isn't the best thing anyhow? I was accepting all of this until my stupid, cruel + beta. God just decided to give me just a little taste of what it might feel like to be told that it was +..then it got taken away just as quickly. That was such a cruel, cruel thing.

: I hate this.
: Leslie
Dear Leslie, I am sorry to hear how frustrated you are. You have been through so much. I agree with Miriam that you should get an opinion at a large center. Also, if you are going to spend all that money on IVF, go to the best place. Also, I noted from your post, you sound like you may have clinical depression. It might be something to consider getting some treatment before going further. Infertility is a grueling experience, and a classic sign of depression is anger which is turned inward toward yourself. Be kind to yourself whatever you do, you are a special person and you deserve to have some peace and happiness. PS I am rooting for you that you soon get some positive news. A person cannot withstand these rigors without getting angry, upset, depressed, etc. It is a normal response.

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